Part 2 in 2 part series
In part 1 of our blog dating after 50, FirstLantic gave you some great resources for ways to meet other singles. In part 2, we want to focus on how to make that date a success. As we get older, we like to think we are getting wiser. But many people make the same mistakes when they are dating after 50 as they made when they were in their 20s.
The biggest don’t
Don’t get discouraged if you have a bad date. As the saying goes, you may have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince or princess. Even if the date doesn’t go as well as you would have liked, pat yourself on the back afterwards. You did it! You put yourself out there and that’s half the battle. You might not have found the love of your life yet but that doesn’t mean that person can’t turn out to be an interesting dinner companion or a good friend eventually.
The second biggest don’t
Don’t bring up all your baggage on the first, second or even third date. It’s one thing to share your background and life experiences. It is a completely different thing to focus on all the negatives qualities about your previous partner or reveal every last detail about a bitter divorce. As much as the other person might want to get to know you, they are not there as your therapist. A date should be fun and not a chore. Be yourself but try to be the best version of yourself.
Do these things instead
Be open-minded. When you are 20 something, you probably had very different criteria for what you wanted in a significant other. When you are over 50, you have had a lot of life experiences that hopefully allow you to be more open-minded. That is not to say that you should not have standards but don’t dismiss someone immediately just because they don’t check all the boxes on the first date.
Have fun. No one wants to go out on a date with someone that is not capable of joy and laughter. Life is an adventure and dating is one aspect of that. Approach each date with the goal of getting to know something interesting about another person. Even if you don’t get the feeling that the date will turn into something more, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn something insightful in the process.
Let’s be honest, most rewarding things in life take some work and finding the next love in your life will probably be no exception. It is going to take some time and patience. That said, there are things that you can do that will make the process less stressful and more enjoyable. You didn’t make it this far in life without overcoming a few obstacles along the way. And with a little bit of optimism, you can navigate your way through most any situation — even dating.
In case you missed ways to meet in our blog last week, here are some resources: